Once upon a time there was a tortoise. His name was Tortoise Bowl-On-The-Back. The tortoise was raised in the swamps and was raised to be a fighter. He had a ton of wheat built up because winter was coming, and he wanted to make sure he and his family had enough food to last the entire time. One day the sneaky Mr. Fox approached Tortoise and told him to watch his back, and that he was going to steal all of his wheat. Tortoise didn’t take very kindly to this and told Fox in three days time, they would fight for the wheat. Fox accepted the challenge and ran off to train.
Fox’s training began immediately. He knew that Tortoise was a great fighter and that he would have to pull out a miracle in order to beat him. He began running twenty miles a day, doing five hundred push ups per day, and doing one thousand jumping jacks per day. Not only was he training, but also he was on a very strict diet. He could only eat raisins and strawberries, and he hated strawberries. Fox knew that this was the best way to get strong and ready for a fight though. By the end of three days time, he knew he was ready to take on one of the best fighters in the land, Tortoise Bowl-On-The-Back.
Tortoise’s training on the other hand was much more relaxed. He knew how good he already was at fighting, so he took the three days to relax. He went to the beach with his family, and drank beer after beer. He wasn’t worried at all about the fight and knew Fox was going to lose the battle. Tortoise bragged to his friends about the beat-down that was about to occur. The training of Fox was not about to be in vain. The end of day three came along, and the fight was finally here.
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| This is a picture of a tortoise. Web Source: Wikipedia |
Author's Note
I wrote my story based upon Tortoise Bowl-On-The-Back and the Fox. I really enjoyed the original story, so it was hard to think of what I could do to change it. I wanted to tell a similar story, but make it completely different. In the original story, the Tortoise and the Fox raced in order to figure out who the wheat would go to. Instead of racing, I made the tortoise and the fox fight and instead of the tortoise winning, I wanted the fox to win. This story also reminded me of the tortoise and the hare story, a story that I read in my childhood. I enjoyed writing this story because of that reason. I also made it to where the tortoise was kind of a bully and the whole crowd was cheering for the fox. I picked the picture of a normal tortoise so that people could possibly picture a tortoise fighting a fox and think about how farfetched it is. I made sure to go into the training of the two to convey the message that hard work can definitely pay off. Just because you are smaller or not as good at something, that doesn't mean that you can't practice to get better. My favorite part was at the end when the tortoise told fox that he hoped to fight him again one day.
The original story can be found in the book Persian Tales, translated by D.L.R. Lorimer and E.O. Lorimer and illustrated by Hilda Roberts (1919).
I really enjoyed reading your story. It also made me think about the story of the tortoise and the hare. I think it's a great story that teaches a great lesson about arrogance and hard work. I liked that you changed it to a fight instead of a race and I liked that you kept them as animal characters. Overall the story progressed very smoothly and had a good flow.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you rewrote this story. I rewrote it for this week, and it’s super cool to see how similar and different our reinterpretations of the story are. I liked how you changed the characters’ personalities, and I really liked that the fox won in the end. Your correlation to the tortoise and the hare was a really interesting twist, too! This was a really fun story to read! Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the reimagined version of this story you put together. I agree, it immediately reminded me of the tortoise and the hare when I first read it. I think reframing it with fighting instead of a race makes it more interesting because I can actually see how the turtle would be really good at fighting as opposed to racing, so it makes more sense that he would be the favorite in the fight. I can also see how the fox would actually be good too, so it makes sense that he was able to upset the tortoise. I would be interested in seeing a little more of how the turtle was a bully ahead of time so that I understand that aspect of the story the entire way. Other than that I really enjoyed your story, I thought it was well put together and very interesting.
ReplyDeleteI like the message you convey with this story. Hard work and dedication can definitely help you succeed in life, even if you aren't as good or as privileged as other people. I found it odd that the fox was the hero of the story, though, and not the tortoise. In most folktales, the fox is sly and cunning, always trying to trick people into getting what he wants. He starts off by saying he's going to take the wheat the tortoise had been harvesting for his family. Why does the fox have any right to the tortoise's wheat? Sure, we learn later that he's a bit of a bully (a departure from how tortoises are usually portrayed), but it seems like he didn't instigate fox's taunts and, after he loses, now he has nothing to feed his family with. It would have been helpful to actually have seen the tortoise bully someone so maybe the reader could sympathize with the fox. This was definitely a unique retelling of the original story.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you changed up the story to have the fox win. I think that was a really great spin! Before I even read your author's note, the first thing I thought of was the classic tortoise and the hare story that everyone knows and loves. It's funny because like your author's note indicates, I fully expected the tortoise to win because in every story similar, the tortoise always seems to be the underdog that goes forth to win it all. However, it was a really nice change of pace to have the fox be the underdog. I also really liked that you changed the race to a fight. It's funny to picture a tortoise and a fox fighting - haha! But that's what adds to the overall lightness and fun of the story. Overall, I don't think there was too much you should change. Maybe, like Cooper mentioned, a little more elaboration on how the tortoise was a bully could have been included. Other than that, I think you did a wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used rising action to establish a sense of "training" for the build up of the big fight. It was great that you used a lot of detail about the fox training, but not so much about the tortoise because he didn't really care. The tortoise already thought he was going to win so what is the point of training. I also like how you gave the underlining message of hard work and dedication. The fox put the effort in, so he was rewarded for his hard work. I also enjoyed how you made the fox win the fight. Overall, I enjoyed reading your story.
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