Once upon a time there was a
husband and a wife that lived in a village together. They usually worked
together in everything they do. One day the wife requested that the husband go
collect palm fruits from the jungle. The husband was upset because he had just
gotten back from collecting the palm fruits. He asked his wife why he had to go
collect palm fruits so often. His wife said that so many of their friends had
come by, always asking for some of the great palm fruits. The wife was so nice
that she gladly gave them to friends. The husband requested that she come with
him this time to help carry back more palm fruits. She gladly agreed.
 |
| Pictured is a common palm fruit. Taken by Neil Palmer. Web source: Wikipedia |
Off they
went deep into the jungle, but the husband was fed up with his wife, so he
formulated a dastardly plan to leave her behind in the jungle. The wife though
was very smart, and knew that he intended to do this. After they were done
collecting all of the palm fruits, the husband told the wife to come get in a
boat with him. The wife knew that she was about to be sent out to sea, so she
pushed her husband into the boat and sent him off to sea instead. The husband
was upset that he had been taken so easily, but was never seen again. The wife
happily collected the palm fruits and headed back to the village.
Once back
at the village, people began questioning what had happened to her husband. She
lied to them and told that her husband had left her on her own. The village
people were not tricked and knew that the wife had done something to him. After
a lot of investigation, they found out that she had sent him out to sea and
left him for the birds. For her crime, she was punished by death. The
townspeople no longer received palm fruits from the couple, and no one else
within the village knew where the palm fruits were located within the jungle.
Since they had put the wife to death, the whole village ended up being wiped
out by hunger. IF only the husband and wife could have been trustworthy to each
other, maybe the village could have survived much longer than it did.
Author's Note:
In the original story, The Wicked Husband, the wife was the one that was left to die in the jungle. I used the original story in the beginning, but in the end it was the wife who was the wicked one. In the original story the village didn't die off because of the palm fruits, but I thought that would make it a little more dramatic. I really enjoyed this original story but I thought I could make it a little better. I wanted the moral of the story to be that your actions a lot of times can have large affects on other people. The original story can be found here: Notes on the Folklore of the Fjort by Richard Edward Dennett (1898).
I really love your author’s note because it let’s us know why you made your changes and what your intentions were. As far as your storytelling I think you did a really good job. The things you sought to accomplish through your edits were undoubtedly accomplished and you did a good job of conveying the moral of the story! Good post!
ReplyDeleteSteven, I liked how you added your own twist to the story. When I originally started reading the post, I was confused. I also had reading the story that was the inspiration for this post and I thought I was reading the exact same story. But once I realized that you took the story and changed the ending it all made sense. I liked how you changed the story to make it what you wanted it to be. Overall, I thought it was really well written.
ReplyDeleteIn the first paragraph, I saw so much potential for an in-depth dialogue between the couple! This could help the story come to life for the reader. The image was placed perfectly because it lined up with the introduction of the palm fruit from the jungle. I just saw one more thing to fix! In the second sentence, the last word should be “did” instead of “do” to match the past tense format of the rest of the words! Great job!
ReplyDelete